1. Who am I?
How
can you know if your partner is a good match if you have no idea who you are?
2.
Why am I in this relationship?
Is
it because you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are with? Or
because you’re afraid of being alone, worried about finances, or have built a
life you’re scared to leave?
3.
Am I happy to be in this relationship?
The
idea of sharing a life together is not to find someone to complete you or make
you happy. But let’s face it: being unhappy at home can seep into other areas
of your life . . . and fast. If you’re always fighting or just generally not
feeling great about your twosome, it doesn’t mean you have to bail out
(counseling might be a good option) but marrying someone in the hope that it
changes things is a bad, bad idea.
4.
Do I really trust my partner?
For
some, the immediate response to this can be devastating. If you’re one of them,
it’s time to ask why and how you can begin to build or rebuild trust. Without
it, there’s no chance.
5.
Am I with a good person?
Knowing
what you know about your partner today, would you vouch for them if they were a
friend?
6.
Am I attracted to my partner?
Physical
attraction is hardly the most important component in a relationship, but
forcing yourself to be in a relationship with someone who you’re not attracted
to — just because it’s comfortable or “perfect on paper” isn’t fair to anyone.
You will feel resentful and they will feel rejected.
7.
Am I a parent or a partner?
Taking
care of someone you love is a great thing to do, but when you feel like you’re
raising a boyfriend — or worse, a husband — things get a little complicated.
You’ll resent his childish ways. Who wants to sleep with their mom?
8.
Does my partner have my back?
Do
you feel like you’re a part of a loyal team who stands up for one another,
supports one another, and shows a united front (even when the other is not
around)? Or, do you feel like you’re constantly being thrown under the bus by
your mate?
9.
Am I feeling trapped?
Do
you really want to be in this relationship the majority of the time or do you
find yourself wishing for a way out? Do you stay because you’ve invested time
or are you really invested in your mate?
10.
What am I doing to hold us back?
Maybe
you could be more attentive, more thoughtful, quicker to let things go, or the
first to bring up going to counseling. Whatever it is, take this as your sign
to step up.
11.
Is for better or worse making me better or worse?
Does
your partner encourage you to be your best self, or does he or she get
intimidated by any triumphs and feel more secure when you’re not putting your
best foot forward?
12.
Do we really accept one another?
There
will always be things you want to change about the people in your life, but no
one should be in a situation where they feel they aren’t allowed to be
authentic and accepted as the unique, special (yet flawed) person they are.
13.
Is this relationship balanced?
Do
you feel you’re both on the same page in terms of compromise, care, support and
sacrifice? Or is one of you doing most of the giving while the other just sits
with their hand out?
14.
Can we have fun together?
Have
you ever seen two people sit across from one another in silence at brunch as
though they are being forced to walk through their day together? Not. fun.
15.
Can we have fun apart?
Co-dependency
ain’t cute, y’all.
16.
Where is this going?
Living
in the “now” is great, but eventually the partnership will need a plan or someone
will begin to feel anxious.
17.
Are we looking in the same direction?
Some
couples avoid having the big talks (religion, marriage, babies) because they
think that, somehow, these things will just “work themselves out.” By the time
they realize they won’t, they’re in a complicated, painful situation that
leaves one (or both) feeling a little bit duped.
18.
Are we growing together?
Being
a human being living on this earth, we all have a right to grow and develop,
and create a full life for ourselves. Are you and your partner still indulging in
your passions (individual and shared) and growing as individuals?
19.
Am I still me?
Being
in love with someone should not require changing our identity to fit someone
else’s idea of who we should be, on any level.
20.
What is my gut telling me?
You
have intuition for a reason. Listen to yourself.
Curled from: http://pressipedia.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment